Sometimes, you only understand the things that you see.
But you know what, you should understand deeper - how I weigh things - how I make sacrifices for the people I love the most. I don’t want to keep things from them.
There would come a time that the only option we can think of - will protect those important to us.
I wish I can break free - tell the whole world what I am going through. But I don’t want them to get hurt. I have caused them so much pain in the past - guess that’s enough. I’d rather carry the pain myself. I’m not that strong when it comes to my family maybe because I know that at the end of the day, they are the only one whom I can run to.
I love them more than I have ever loved myself. That explains it all. And if showing my love to them would mean shutting myself off - I’ll do it.
I’ve never stopped praying for that day to come when I can finally tell them everything. When I can bear to see them disappointed once again. Parents always want the best for their children. But it could also be the other way around - we also want the best for them. We do things to protect the family’s interest. We lie to keep them away from shame and judgement of other people.
For now, I choose to be discrete. I choose to pretend that I am okay. I choose to be strong for myself, for Bien - and for what is soon to come along.
But you know what, you should understand deeper - how I weigh things - how I make sacrifices for the people I love the most. I don’t want to keep things from them.
There would come a time that the only option we can think of - will protect those important to us.
I wish I can break free - tell the whole world what I am going through. But I don’t want them to get hurt. I have caused them so much pain in the past - guess that’s enough. I’d rather carry the pain myself. I’m not that strong when it comes to my family maybe because I know that at the end of the day, they are the only one whom I can run to.
I love them more than I have ever loved myself. That explains it all. And if showing my love to them would mean shutting myself off - I’ll do it.
I’ve never stopped praying for that day to come when I can finally tell them everything. When I can bear to see them disappointed once again. Parents always want the best for their children. But it could also be the other way around - we also want the best for them. We do things to protect the family’s interest. We lie to keep them away from shame and judgement of other people.
For now, I choose to be discrete. I choose to pretend that I am okay. I choose to be strong for myself, for Bien - and for what is soon to come along.
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